Rocco Report: We Are Family

Consider this my official introduction of Rocco Sebastian Buccio, the newest member of the Buccio posse and one of the most beautiful and loved babies you will ever meet! He's a looker! And I'm not just saying that because I'm his proud momma! 

And to properly give him his 'Circle-of-Life' moment in the spotlight, I teamed up with photographers extraordinaire, Tutti Bambini Photography (https://www.tutti-bambini.com/capturing-your-life-moments-tutti-bambini-photography/), to capture our growing family during a laid back photo session in our apartment. When Maya was born, I wanted your typical all-frills newborn photo shoot with tutus, and headbands, and Pinterest inspired backdrops and poses. After all, she was my first and I was so excited to have some girlish fun! This time around though, I wanted the complete opposite. I opted to shelf the pomp and circumstance, and focus on a more lifestyle-approach. I wanted it to be casual, family-focused, and 'easy like Sunday morning.' Literally. There would be no tutus, little to no photoshopping, and no Spielberg-like sets. There's a happy chaos that exists in our lives at the moment (and in our cozy apartment), and I wouldn't have it any other way!  

Maybe the one not-so-casual element of this shoot was my hair and makeup! Ha! First off, during Maya's newborn session, I was in the throws of baby blues, which meant I was sporting a nice set of puffy eyes from all the tears. I made maybe one or two appearances during the shoot because I was a mess. So because I was in much better spirits and my hormones were somewhat stable after Rocco's birth, I really wanted to be a part of these memories so I indulged in making myself all pretty and I'm unapologetic for it! 

At Tutti Bambini, they're all about family and they're all about giving their clients the experience they envision. I've been extremely fortunate to work with a slew of photographers that are talented and inspiring, but more importantly, they listen. Without that open dialogue and communication, there can't exist a beautiful and well-meaning execution of the photographic dream you hope to bring to life. This is my second time working with the Tutti Bambini photography team and it's always such a pleasure to team up with a wonderful group of women that not only listen, but they empower, they make you feel comfortable, and they are there to help you every step of the way. I have collaborated with the brand for different opportunities and what I love most about them is that they're consistent in the attention and service they provide. CEO and owner, Lourdes, and her fabulous team of experts, are always on hand to walk you through any need- whether its purchasing your first car seat or setting up your baby's first birthday- there's a genuine attitude of creating happy memories for you and your family. 

When I approached Melissa at Tutti Bambini Photography about what I wanted for my family session, she was very much on board! We talked about shooting a few photos at our apartment and then taking a walk to the park across the street to capture a few images outside. And because we live in Miami and the weather is temperamental, we had to nix the park session due to rain! We did reconvene a few weeks later at their studio to finish the session in their outside space.

These pictures were taken a few days after coming home from the hospital, needless to say, our house was in a period of transition! Coco was fresh off an Achilles surgery, rolling around in a knee scooter and a walking boot, Maya hadn't taken a nap (because of course, why would she take a nap on the day I really needed her to?!), and as for me, I was trying to juggle a few new motherhood balls amidst a tsunami of exhaustion. Two kids is a whole other world! 

Melissa came equipped with a bag of tricks- including this device called the Shusher, which basically puts a sleep spell on your baby (http://www.babyshusher.com). OMG that thing is a miracle worker! Maybe I'd been living under a rock but I had never heard of it and I think it's genius (seriously, why couldn't I think of inventing that?!) It's also available at Tutti Bambini. To say I had a happy and cooperative baby during the shoot, was the understatement of the century! Too bad the shusher didn't work for Maya! But Cinderella on Netflix did. Once she saw a few minutes of the Lily James feature, she was back to being her bubbly and energetic self. 

Note to self: Never plan photo shoots if you're child hasn't napped, missed her nap, or won't go down for a nap. The only thing you'll get is a nightmare. 

My favorite photos of this series are the ones of Maya and Rocco in our bed. They make me melt! To see Maya really come into her big sister role, is heartwarming and deliciously sweet. There's been minimal episodes of jealousy; instead, she's enveloped her baby brother in a bubble of love, hugs, and picnic tea parties, that is beautiful to watch. She constantly wants to hold him, kiss him, carry him (until she says he's just too heavy), and she loves to sing (only original songs written by Maya and the occasional twinkle, twinkle)  and talk to him while he's hanging out in the crib and he's just mesmerized by her voice. The moment she speaks or comes into the room, he just stares at her and nothing else matters. He smiles and follows her every move around the room. I only hope this sweet connection continues as they grow older! I hope he's ready for a bossy sister that's going to have her way with him. He'll know early on what an independent and confident girl looks like! 

Here's a little something you can't see (or maybe you can) from our second series of photos- we were running on fumes! I could have probably fallen asleep standing up, and probably did. It goes to show you, no matter how beautiful or perfect a photo session might look, there's always a little thing called 'reality' lurking in the wings! So next time you're browsing photos from someone's mess-free photo shoot or holiday card, remember there's probably baby spit-up on the back of that mom's dress, and the adorably photogenic little boy probably just recovered from a massive tantrum! And that's okay, because it happens and that's all part of the adventures of parenting. So if for one afternoon, you want to live and capture your family in an idyllic snapshot, why not?! You're entitled to pretend that spit up is only a figment of your imagination! 

I purposely set up the session in the afternoon so that Maya could nap at school, only to find out when I picked her up early, that she stayed up during nap time. Surprise, surprise! Coco's ankle was swollen and made it difficult to walk leading to some angst and frustration. The only unfazed member of the family was Rocco! At least one of us was well-rested. But as they say, the show must go on! We kicked it into overdrive (for 30 minutes), and brought on our fierce 'we're not tired' photo game for a few more shots. And no matter how tired, how exhausted, how overwhelming and wonderful that initial adjustment has been in becoming a family of four, it has by far been the most gratifying and fulfilling experience of my life. It's been worth the lack of sleep.  

Side note, how ridiculously cute are Rocco's fox slip on shoes?! I'm so looking forward to playing dress up with my handsome sidekick! 

Momma and poppa are smitten with this little angel. When I found out we were having a boy, I was happy. But I wasn't jumping for joy the way I was when I found out I was having a girl. I didn't know the first thing about boys, and neither did Coco. I was afraid I would be clueless. I knew that I would love this kid-hard; I just didn't know how. Would we connect? Would I parent him the same way I do Maya? Would he love me the way Maya loved me? Would we share an indescribable mother and son bond? All those questions popped into my head while I was pregnant and now that he's here, I can't even begin to put into words the intensely overpowering love that I feel for this kid. It is mind blowing. Maya and Rocco have taken ownership of my heart. 

Rocco has turned me to mush. Not that I wasn't mush with Maya, the girl would smile at me (still does) and I would fall apart, but he has made me a blubbering momma! When he cries, I get teary-eyed. When he looks at me, I get teary-eyed. I can't explain it, but with Rocco, it's a different type of gaga. I feel an immense responsibility towards him. I want to love him like no one will and I want to teach him to be a kind, respectful and nurturing man, and I know that starts with me. I want his future wife to write me a thank you card everyday for raising such a loving man, because there aren't many (except for Coco) that exist in the world. That's my hope for my little boy. 

Because I lost my mom at such a young age, I'm so conscious of teaching Maya how to be  an independent, self-sufficient, determined and strong young lady. I push her because I know what she's capable of and I want her to be able to take care of herself when she's all grown up. I'm not easily whittled to tears when she scrapes her knee or comes home upset from school on that rare occasion. I'm there to comfort her, to hold her, to tell her it's okay to be sad or hurt, and then I help her build herself back up and I give her a push of encouragement. I want her to know and experience just how wonderful, how strong, how empathetic, and more importantly, how independent she is. And that's my hope for my little girl.

Life has a way of throwing you curve balls and putting forth teachable moments in your path. I'm blessed to have a partner and a husband who walks that path with me, and who respects and loves me and our family until the end of the world. We have two happy and healthy children that we love more than our hearts could comprehend. This is the definition of having a rich life. Because whether you're navigating happy waters or challenging ones, there's nothing else that matters most than those that are by your side. 

To book your session with Tutti Bambini Photography, visit https://www.tutti-bambini.com/capturing-your-life-moments-tutti-bambini-photography/ or call (305) 669-1400. Follow them on Instagram at @Tuttibambiniphotography 

In Style, 

Kat (Rocco and Maya's mom)

Rocco Report: Two Weeks, Two Kids, And a Knee Scooter.

Hello, boy! 

Here are a few things I learned my first two weeks at home with a new baby:

1- Projectile poop is a thing. A really disgusting thing, as my three year old would say. And it will shoot out like a machine gun and cover you from head to toe in smelly, pasty poop, and it will usually happen right after you've used up all your energy to take a shower. FAIL. 

2- Baby penises are a loaded weapon. Oh yes. Don't be fooled by that cute face (I'm talking to you, Rocco). But a baby penis will douse you in urine. He will make it rain. It's a foreshadow that even cute, little penises transform into bigger and badder penises, that go on to make babies that will pee all over you. This baby penis is taking my diaper skills to new levels. 

3- Those hormones are here to stay. At least for now. It doesn't matter how many times I watch Tangled and Frozen, I will still cry in those last scenes. And by cry, I mean snot-heavy sobs. Thank you, hormones, for making me look like a completely bent out of shape new mom with a weird Disney princess obsession. 

4- That first poop after giving birth is still one of the scariest-holy shit (literally)- moments you'll go through once you get home. Doesn't matter if it's your first kid or your fifth. It's terrifying. That toilet is your nemesis. You will never be so petrified and your butt will freeze up the second you feel the urge to go because you just won't know what kind of pain is coming your way. But when you do gather the courage to sit and pray on that toilet seat, you'll let out the biggest sigh of relief heard around the world- and you'll live to tell the story. Maybe on a blog. 

5- Once you have a second kid, a compact car is the equivalent of a clown car. A minivan never looked so appealing. Two massive car seats in a 4-door BMW, plus Rocco's stroller, Maya's travel stroller, beach toys, and all the amassed kiddie litter (think Goldfish, Cheerios, stickers, coloring books, sippy cups) strewn all over the car seat floor, makes car rides very crammed and very uncomfortable. And forget about anyone else riding with you because there's just no vacancy. There's barely room for your own thoughts. It'll just be you, screaming kids, and Disney songs forever and ever. Or at least until they turn 18. 

6-  Each time I say 'my kids' or 'our kids' it's like a happy shock through my body. Kids- plural. Like, am I really saying 'my kids?' Holy crap I have two kids. It's pretty damn cool. And surreal. 

The Snuggle is Real. 

Suffocate you with kisses. 

The first two weeks at home with two kids has been an exhilarating roller coaster of emotions. My heart is bursting with love when I see Maya and Rocco together. It makes all the exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and anxiety, worth it. We've been fortunate, so far, that Rocco is taking after Maya. He's a pretty textbook baby- an absolute angel. He eats like a champ, usually every three hours, and sleeps pretty well too. He likes to grunt. It took us a couple of days to get used to it and realize he wasn't really awake, so we just let him be. Unlike his sister, he's still waking up to feed in the middle of the night. We got really lucky with Maya because she stopped waking up in the middle of the night after 2.5 weeks. Rocco also eats a lot more. Maybe it's a boy thing. Thank goodness for Enfamil Ready to Feed bottles! Those suckers live next to my bed and make those dreadful middle of the night feedings a lot easier and manageable. 

I grew up as an only child (I credit my extensive imagination and independent spirit to that), and even though I had a wonderful childhood with close cousins that could have passed as siblings, I knew that I wanted Maya to have a brother or sister in her corner. It's only been a couple of weeks, but to see her excitement over Rocco, warms my heart. She constantly wants to hold him and touch him and she loves giving him kisses in the morning when she leaves to school. She even gives him a rundown of what's on her daily calendar ('Rocco, today I have soccer, so you stay here with mommy while I go to school.') Granted, we do have to keep an eye on her because as the saying goes, 'love hurts,' and sometimes her hugs may be a little too tight or his head may be dangling a little too much because that's just what happens when you're a three year old. And when we gave him his first bath, she wanted to make sure all the soap was out of his hair and she innocently, yet unknowingly, sprayed down his face with the shower head and we had to tell her that water boarding her little brother was probably not the best idea.  

It helps that Maya is in school during the day because it lets Coco and I spend quality time with Rocco, considering we are still getting to know him. We make sure, though, that we give Maya that one-on-one time so she doesn't feel neglected or shut out of the circle. We don't want her to grow resentful of the new baby. During those first few days, we set up some play dates with her school friends, I took her to a press screening to watch Hotel Transylvania, and we went to the park. This kid's social calendar will put yours to shame. 

Our 'no help' rule went out the window since Coco's Achilles surgery got thrown into the mix. I have to say, even though his mobility is limited, Coco has stepped up to the plate more so than I expected. He's determined and persistent (and that's why I love him) and he helps as much as he possibly can, juggling two kids, a knee scooter, night feedings, and still manages to cook a roasted lamb dinner! I can't even do that with two legs. He's our Superman! But back to the help. I'll admit, the day I got home, I cried. I literally face planted (God, it felt good to sleep on my stomach) and cried in my room. I was initially overwhelmed. How was I going to take care of two kids, keep my house in order, walk the  dogs (hello, dog walker), help Coco, fit a bath somewhere in there, and so on and so forth?! Plus, having someone in my space was not something I planned on or wanted. We're all about doing stuff on our own. But I have to say, having my aunt here for the first five days was huge. She did laundry, cooked, kept the house organized, entertained Maya, picked up some of the daytime feedings with Rocco, kept Coco and I company while we did school runs, helped with groceries, and cleaned the house. I had friends who brought groceries (I love you and your easy meals, Trader Joe's), friends who took Maya for an afternoon, friends and family who brought lunch or dinner so we didn't have to cook, and one friend who actually did my laundry. Coco's mom came from New York for a week and helped us so much with the baby. She even gave us our first date night- at her encouragement! Coco and I were able to grab dinner at Lincoln Road while she took care of the kids. We were eternally grateful for the support! And to all you new mommas out there (and old, because God knows it gets a tiny bit more challenging when you have more than one kid), here's one advice I can give you.  If help is offered, take it. Especially if you have a limited network of support (like Coco and I do). Also, there's a big difference between visitors and help. Unless you're coming to my house to cook me a meal, do a load of laundry, or watch my baby while I nap, then better you save your visit for another time, preferably when the new parents are somewhat settled. It doesn't make me a bitch. It doesn't mean I don't want to see you. It just means my sanity is a little more important right now and we have to do what works best for us. Those first couple of weeks are happily chaotic as you find a routine that works, and that's okay. So if someone throws a little help your way that can make life easier, swallow your pride, and take it! 

A winning recipe for a happy post-delivery vaj.

The doc is in! Drying up the breast milk.

My secret weapon. 

Let's talk about what happens to your body (and your vagina) after baby, because it's a whole big, ugly mess down there of monstrous maxi pads, sore muscles, and swollen goods. Oh, it ain't pretty. I do have to say, however, that I bounced back with Rocco a lot quicker than I did with Maya. I credit that to only having to push for 14 minutes as opposed to two hours. Hell, I was doing a Selena Gomez interview one week after delivery. I felt like a rock star. My bathroom looked like a geriatric nursing home with hemorrhoid creams, Tucks pads, cortisone for my episiotomy, pillow sized pads to wear with those unattractive (yet really comfortable) mesh panties they give you at the hospital, all lined up on the bathroom counter. And let's not forget the peri-wash bottle, which was like having a portable bidet at your fingertips. I couldn't live without it. Every time I went to the bathroom, I had a consistent routine that included all those gadgets and because of them, the soreness and pain were tolerable. Then came an unexpected UTI. Holy Jesus- that was painful and apparently very normal, especially if you had a catheter. It felt like I was peeing fire every time I went to the bathroom. Thankfully that only lasted three days. Amen. 

My breasts didn't become painfully engorged until about the third or fourth day I was home. I rolled up to that hospital with my head of cabbage and those sweet nurses knew I meant business! I used cabbage to dry up my breast milk after I gave birth to Maya and it worked immediately! I think my milk dried up in three weeks. I did the same for Rocco. The nurses kept it refrigerated for me and whenever I would ring the call button, they would bring me my cabbage so I could apply them on my breasts. I didn't smell all that great, but it worked. I kept it up at home and interchanged it with ice packs. I found these Disney themed ice packs at Babies R Us and I thought, "These are the perfect size for my lady parts!" So I got Minnie Mouse covering the left, and Doc McStuffins covering the right. 

I've been blessed with good genes. Let's start with that. I don't have some secret remedy or some magic pill that has let me bounce back to my almost pre-pregnancy weight. The fact is I'm pretty lazy when it comes to exercising. There are other things I like to do with my spare time. I hate sweating. I like eating and I like my wine.  And even though I'm skinny, my body is jiggly in certain spots and that's cool. I have a small muffin top leftover from Maya's delivery and I'm honest with myself. I stepped up my 'body after baby' game with Rocco and got a belly bandit for that muffin top. So between that belly bandit, time, and prayer, I'm hoping it goes down on its own. That's my big plan. Our bodies made a baby, let's remember that, so let's be kind with ourselves! 

One of the things I did have to be mindful about when I got home were those unwanted baby blues. I was worried they would hit again, so any time I felt weepy or slightly off, I made a note to check in with myself to see how I was feeling. Even though this wasn't my first rodeo as a parent, it all still felt very new. Two kids is a whole different ball game! And now a boy! Thankfully, I was spared from the blues, but I made sure to do little things for myself- things like making my bed in the morning or getting a manicure and a fresh blowout. Yes, I spend most of my days in pajamas, and sometimes I don't even brush my teeth, but there are days I make it a point to get all gussied up, pack on the concealer, put some red lipstick on, and go out into the world. And again, because I bounced back a lot quicker after Rocco's delivery, I've been able to pick up some freelance work, have an outing with Maya or with friends, and that makes me feel a bit more human. It's got to be something worthwhile to get me out of those pajamas! 

Our new (and temporary) normal. Bye, Target. 

The famous knee scooter. AKA Roll-anda. 

One of the biggest adjustments I've had to deal with is getting used to having a baby in Miami. Having a baby in a new city almost feels like having a baby for the first time. It probably sounds silly, but once I explain why, you'll understand. I had Maya in Manhattan, in the winter, and never had to worry about driving with a newborn in a car or extreme heat. My Uppababy was basically my mode of transportation, and Maya and I would roll out of the apartment everyday and venture out. The city was our oyster. If we rode in cabs, I would just hold the car seat. The only time she would ride in the car as an infant, was when Coco and I would head to Long Island or we were traveling to visit family. The whole 'put the baby in car, take the baby out of the car' ritual was not part of my day to day. Having a baby in the city, contrary to what people think, is relatively easy. Here, its more of an effort. For example, if I want to go to Walgreen's, its a freaking production. I have to get the kids in the car, drive to Walgreen's, park the car, take the kids out of the car, then back in the car, then drive home. Then take the kids out again. I'm exhausted just writing this. Having kids in suburbia is a whole other giant compared to city-living!

Having a baby in Miami, gives me major anxiety. And while rationally I know it's the norm for many (and it will eventually become my norm), right now, it's still a work in progress. One of my paralyzing fears at the moment, is the thought of forgetting a kid in a hot car (it doesn't help that the news stations continuously report on these stories). It makes me not want to leave the house. And because Miami has no seasons and we live in an eternal summer, my anxiety is heightened. It's something I have to work on and overcome. I've gotten lots of helpful tips from friends, my pediatrician, my OB (can you tell how I've let this consume me?) like leaving your keys, wallet, phone, or even a shoe in the back seat for checks and balances. I even told Coco I wanted one of those 'baby on board' signs I hate, just as an extra reminder. And I've taken ridiculous to new heights by asking him for a bell to attach to the car seat so any time the car is moving or the baby is moving, that bell will annoyingly ring and serve as another reminder for me.  Hence, this is why I haven't ventured out with Rocco so much. I'm trying to work out my own kinks first. So what did I do? Well, to 'ease' my anxiety, I told Coco that I wanted to do a family Target run all together- knee scooter included. That was a not-so-brilliant idea. It was stressful. We looked like a hot mess: Coco on one of those electric scooters driving Maya around and me pushing a stroller with a four day old baby, looking like I was about to pounce on someone. Then Rocco got hungry and I had to feed him in the Starbucks/Pizza Hut sitting area. Ew. Seriously, what was I thinking?

Thankfully, as with anything, all we needed was a little time- and patience.  We have slowly and somewhat gracefully settled into a nice routine as a family of four. While those first few days were filled with nerves and worry, I'm definitely feeling a lot more confident, reassured, and settled as a momma of two! I'm loving every second of it- even when I'm not. And everyday I look forward to the next adventure. My heart is full and happy because of those two meatballs! I'm thankful for a wonderful partner who supports me in everything that I do. Even with a knee scooter, Coco is unstoppable. We make sure to stay connected, to help each other out when the other is running on empty, because it can get hard. Without that marital teamwork, parenting as a unit becomes disastrous and joyless. You need to have your partner's back, and yes, its challenging, especially during those sleep-deprived moments when all you want to do is strangle one another. But that passes and there will be more moments of love and happiness than moments of annoyance and burden. 

Remember the love and remember those beautiful and perfect little babies you both brought into this world, because there is no greater blessing, no greater gift, than family!  

My men.

My heart. My soul. My everything.

Momma's Boy.

Bumpin' Love,

Rocco's Mom 

The Rocco Report: My Birth Story

Remember when I said I couldn't possibly love another baby as much as I love Maya? Well, I've never been so happy to be wrong. 

My heart just massively exploded and is oozing love, pride, and all that 'head over heels' cliche stuff that baby dreams are made of. I met my boy and I have fallen truly, madly, deeply, in love with him. More so than I imagined. And yes, I love him just as much as I loved Maya the minute I laid eyes on her. Only, it's an indescribable kind of 'different.' A good different, but nonetheless different. 

On September 9th at 2:53pm, Rocco Sebastian Buccio came into the world and into our lives - all 7.7lbs of him. And when they placed him on my chest and I felt his tiny body against mine, I let out tears of joy, of happiness, of culminating anticipation for this little being that I had nurtured and cooked inside me for the last nine months. He was finally here. 

My heart became whole again. 

Squad goals. The Buccio labor and delivery team. #olympicgold 

Dr. Bonilla- the Beyonce of OBs. 

And here's how it all went down. 

It didn't really hit me that I was having a baby until the night before my induction. Maybe it was a delayed reaction, but I was washing my face and looked in the mirror and thought, "I'm having a baby tomorrow. Holy Sh#$t." My stomach dropped. I was tremendously excited but also anxious, terrified, and nervous. It doesn't matter if you've done this once or twice before. There are still jitters; still 'what ifs' to combat; and nerves to be calmed.

I was going to have another baby. A new life as a mom of two awaited me- awaited us. 

Induction was scheduled for 6am, so the first order of business was dropping off Maya at my friend, Krizia's, who would be taking her to school. It was important for us to keep Maya's schedule and routine as normal as possible. Believe it or not, dropping her off was actually pretty difficult. For three and a half years, it's been us three. She's been center stage in our lives and our attention has solely been on her. I kept thinking how this was the end of one chapter and a brand new one was just hours away. I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't cry- I did. My number one girl was about to get a new sibling. As an only child, the idea of giving Maya a brother or a sister was something I always wanted for her. I see the special bond Coco and his three sisters share and it's such a beautiful relationship and I only hope Maya and Rocco get to experience that same connection. The way I see it, they need a partner in crime- someone to confide in, someone to annoy, and someone that they can 'complain about mom and dad' to without having to explain themselves. But that particular morning as she hugged and kissed me and told me she loved me, I was a little heartbroken- nostalgic is a better word. We were bringing in another member into our wolf pack. We would no longer be Buccio party of three and I hope that she would be okay with that. 

My amazing delivery wouldn't have been possible without my labor and delivery squad. Eat your heart out, Taylor Swift, because my #squad is better than yours! Choosing who I wanted by my side was such a personal choice. When I had Maya, I only wanted Coco with me. I didn't want to share that once in a lifetime moment with anyone else. She was our first foray into parenthood and I wanted that experience to be exclusively ours. For me, it was also an emotional choice. If my mother were alive, there would be no question that she would have been in that room holding my hand and soothing me during those brutal contractions. If I couldn't have her there with me, then I did not want anyone from my family in that room either. As close as I was to my grandmother, there was no one that could stand in and take my mother's place during Maya's birth. I was slightly more open to having an additional wingman in the room with us during Rocco's birth; but, it couldn't be someone from my family. I was firm on my 'mom' rule. We had invited Gina, (Coco's sister and Rocco's godmother), to be in the labor room with us. Unfortunately, her teaching schedule made it difficult for her to come down for the birth. Besides his sister, the only other person I wanted in that room was my best friend, Vivi. She's my other person-she's more than my friend- she's my family. As friends, we balance each other out well and I knew that her humor and her nurturing demeanor was the kind of energy I wanted in that room. Plus, with Coco on a knee scooter, she would be so helpful and hands-on. Coco and I were so happy she was able to be there for us during such a special time in our life. I There is so much more I can to say in regards to Coco, my #1 supporter. I can't stress enough how much I needed him during this process. Even with a ruptured Achilles and a knee scooter, he made the hugest effort to be present in every aspect of the birth. Without his encouraging words and love, I wouldn't have powered through so easily. It's what makes him not only a wonderful person, but a loving husband and an incredible father and it's the reason, why after having another child with him, I get to fall in love with him all over again. 

No squad is complete without the superhero crew of OBs, doctors, and nurses (what do nurses do again, Joy Behar?!), specifically my OB, Dr. Bonilla, who rocked my delivery. She was/is a superstar!  She's so cool, calm, collected and when it was time to bring Rocco into the world, she came in and got that baby out in one fell swoop! Paula, my labor and delivery nurse, was an angel dressed in scrubs. Any nurse that can still love me after cutting the circulation from her hands (I'm almost positive that my vagina almost swallowed her hand too, Little Shop of Horrors style, while she was checking for dilation), is dynamite in my book. The laughs were continuous throughout the delivery- from enemas to placentas - there was no shortage of jokes, conversation, or poop. Yes, poop. It happens. 

Holding Rocco for the first time.

Meeting the new man in our life. 

This is what awe looks like. 

Yes, pregnancy is beautiful (maybe not for everyone) and the moment that baby is snuggled in your arms, time stands still. There's nothing like it. That sweet, sweet feeling should be bottled up in a jar and sold because it's the most euphoric high you'll ever be on. It's nothing but pure magic, rainbows, and butterflies- but then when you slowly come down back to reality (and that epidural wears off), you remember all the gory and not-so-pleasant parts of labor and delivery. Yep, I'm talking about that poop again. 

I've been very fortunate to have had two great deliveries. Both were different; but, for the most part, they were smooth and relatively easy. With Maya, I was scheduled to be induced because I was late, but I ended up going into labor on my own the night before. With Rocco, I scheduled an induction with my doctor. His due date was 9/13/15 and because I didn't want to risk having him on September 11th, we opted for a scheduled induction on the 9th. I didn't know what to expect. I was told at every sonogram appointment that Rocco would be huge, so I was terrified for my vagina and my hemorrhoids. I knew what natural contractions felt like, but I didn't know how contractions brought upon by pitocin would feel like. I had already been having contractions a few days before my induction, but they were only 4-5 minutes apart and then they would fizzle out. When I got to the hospital at 6am, I was having some contractions and I found out I was about three centimeters dilated. Whoa! 

I'll tell you what the most painful part of my labor experience was- the IV. First off, if you've ever gotten an IV on your hand, it's actually one of the most sensitive areas to get pricked. And they avoid giving you an IV on your arm, since it can interfere with the pushing. Well, after seven excruciating attempts at finding a vein, I requested a time out. Apparently, I have extremely thin veins- superficial ones- which means, each time they went into the vein, at some point, the blood stopped flowing. They even brought in the 'Beyonce of veins,' who has a solid record of always finding a live one. And not even this vein whisperer could find it. Instead, she was blocked by my severely thick skin. I knew I had a thick skin, figuratively, but apparently I have thick skin, literally, as well. My dinosaur-like tough skin, wouldn't allow the needle to penetrate all the way through. I was squirming in pain and had to take a break. My blood pressure had gone up, I developed a fever, and Rocco's heartbeat had slowed down all due to the stress from 'IV-gate.' I begged for an arm IV. Eventually, they had no other choice but to use my arm. I've never been so happy to see so much blood pouring out. 

Once the IV was in, it was time for the enema. No pooping for this girl! With Maya, I never made it in time for one, so naturally, I pooped during my delivery. It doesn't matter how many times the nurses and doctors tell you how normal it is, you still feel kind of gross. I made sure that with Rocco's delivery, I wouldn't miss out on that poop suppressor.  Thankfully I didn't and oh boy, that thing was AMAZING! I'd been flushed. Unfortunately, I still pooped. So much for saving face. 

Let's talk CONTRACTIONS! Because I was already three centimeters dilated, they started me on a small dosage of pitocin to kick start the contractions. They were relatively mild with minimal pain, and I was handling them like a champ. I kept saying, "this is a breeze! I can totally do this! This doesn't even hurt!" Oh Kathy, you're such a fool. Nurse Paula cranked up the Pitocin to four drops instead of two, and that's when sh#$t got real. 

Those contractions grew more intense, more piercing, and more agonizing. Where was my epidural?! They told me that as soon as the contractions got unbearable, I could request the epidural. I simultaneously crushed Vivi and nurse Paula's hands during each contraction and I just kept thinking of Maya to keep myself distracted. My brain kept saying, 'NEED EPIDURAL NOW.' And just like that, the anesthesiologist and his team (one of which went to elementary school with Vivi), magically appeared! My dream team had come to save me with their magic drugs. The epidural has to be administered between contractions and you have to sit absolutely still because one false move, and you're dunzo. Nurse Paula talked me through the contractions and after 10-15 minutes, I started feeling the tingle in my legs. It's working! Oh, I also learned I had a narrow and thin spine- more things I learned about my body that day.  

Once the epidural set in, it was a waiting game. Having the right people in your labor and delivery room makes all the difference. The ambiance was laidback, relaxed, and really really funny (joking really helps pass the time). I made sure my playlist was set in the background. Having my music during labor is a must for me! In between telling stories and trying to feel something in my legs (seriously, it's like I was missing the bottom half of my body), I was feeling constant jolts of excitement (and nerves) knowing that in a short time, I would finally get to meet Rocco! The moment would be here shortly and I could hardly wait. 

Welcome to the world Rocco Sebastian Buccio

Daddy's boy

I started shivering uncontrollably even though I had several blankets and I let nurse Paula and Dr. Bonilla know. Sometimes shivering means birth is imminent. Dr. Bonilla checked me and I was 10 centimeters dilated and ready to push. Wow, that was quick! Okay, breathe. This WAS happening. As in, BABY IS COMING NOW. Everyone got into position and we started with a practice push and in my first try, Rocco's tiny head popped out. Dr. Bonilla and nurse Paula told me that I needed to push really hard using my abdominal muscles since the epidural had me completely numb from the waist down.  I took the term 'labor' to new heights. We collectively felt my vagina deserved her own hashtag (#amazingvagina) for her awesomeness. Coco and Vivi held my left leg while nurse Paula covered the right, and they transformed into the best cheerleading squad a girl could ask for (sans pom poms).  Coco is all about getting up close and personal during the birthing process. He wants to be in on all the action (he's got a bad case of FOMO), and was giving me a play by play on what was going in my vaj chambers. He thinks the whole process is just absolutely beautiful and I love him for that. Not many men can do what we does, which makes him that much more amazing.  I'm not sure I would be able to watch all that happening. I didn't really want the front row action. At Coco and Vivi's insistence, I reached down and touched Rocco's head as I was pushing, and that was enough for me. There's only so much bloody slime I can handle. 

After 14 minutes of vigorous pushing and cheers, I felt that little man come out of me and it was the most powerful, out-of-body sensation ever. Rocco was born to Coldplay's 'Fix You,' one of our favorite songs. He literally took my breath away and I cried. I cried because I never thought my love for another human could double in size. I cried because my world got exponentially bigger and better thanks to the new man in my life. I was done in. I would spend the rest of my life loving, worrying, and fiercely protecting another cub. And in that moment when he laid on my chest and I looked at his face, all that pain, all my worries, and all my anxieties, melted away. Our son was here. I was enveloped between the two main men in my life and my heart was happy. We had our little boy, and watching Coco become mush as he held Rocco in his arms, kissing him and staring at him, was beautiful to watch. 

My heart had officially burst with unconditional love. I would never be the same again. 

My heart belongs to Mom. Hat courtesy of Infanteenie Beenie.

Love at first sight

When I delivered Maya, Dr. Wu had to cut me so I wouldn't tear through my hemorrhoids. And since I pushed for two hours with Maya, I had a good sized episiotomy and terrible hemorrhoids to show for it, which made for a not-so-fun recovery. Thankfully, since I pushed for such a short time with Rocco (yay me), my tear wasn't as large (I tore the same scar) and my hemorrhoids were on their best behavior (Hallelujah, sweet Jesus). The epidural would help mask the pain for the next couple of hours. 

Our adventurous afternoon didn't end there. Maya would soon be coming to meet her little brother and we couldn't wait to see her reaction. We had her sibling gifts on hand and we made sure there was nobody in our room except for Coco and I. She walked into our room and made a beeline for Rocco. She climbed on the hospital bed and asked to hold him right away. She kept telling me how cute and how soft he was and she asked nurse Paula if her friend, her best friend, Sofia, could come in and meet him. When Sofia came in, Maya motioned for her to come close and said, "Sofia, come meet my brother. Come here. Come touch him. He's not a monster (did she think I gave birth to a werewolf?)" She was beaming with pride. Then she looked at me and said, "Okay mommy, let's go home." As I watched their interaction, I couldn't help but think how wonderfully full and blessed I felt at that very moment. These two small beings were part of me; part of us and we made them. We have the privilege of getting to love them, to mold and shape them, and to teach them about kindness, love, and compassion for the rest of our lives. 

Getting to bring a child into this world, not once but twice, is truly a blessing, one I don't take for granted. I thank God everyday for the gift of motherhood. All the exhaustion, the sleepless nights, the laughs, the tears, the struggles, the 'not knowing,' the endless hugs and kisses that take your breath away, are all worth it- every single one of them, because that's what life is all about. 

And then there were four. 

Hello Rocco! All nuzzled in his Nuroo swaddle.

That's all she wrote my squeezers! Thank you for being a part of my story and for sharing your time with me. I hope you enjoyed my play-by-play of Rocco's big day- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Stay tuned for next week's post where I'll be talking about my adventures (and misadventures) of my first two weeks back home with two kids and a knee scooter!

Bumpin' Love,

Rocco's Mom