The Rocco Report: 30 Weeks!

Good Day squeezers! Hope all of you had an awesome 4th of July weekend with family, friends, and fireworks! We enjoyed our festivities in Sarasota and we are already planning next year's trip! Tomorrow we are off to NY for two weeks for Gina's nuptials (Coco's older sister and Rocco's god mommy)! I'll also be having another sprinkle with all my friends and family and going to Coco's 20 year high school reunion! That should be all sorts of fun and interesting. Ha! 

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday just to double confirm I was all good to travel and everything was a go. My indigestion and constipation are all par for the course at this time, unfortunately, so I'll be dealing with that for the remaining 10 weeks. Sometimes I feel that pregnancy, more so towards the end of the third trimester, is a lot like geriatrics. You got back aches, swollen feet, indigestion, hemorrhoids, abdominal pain, creaking joints, sitz baths, etc. I'm like a walking nursing home at this point. Despite all that, I'm not lying when I say I do feel great and I would do it all over again, maybe just not in the heat next time. 

Apparently my belly is measuring 3.5 weeks ahead of schedule (yikes!). So Dr. Bonilla sent me for an ultrasound today to see how much Rocco was weighing. As you can imagine, my vagina was trembling. It wouldn't necessarily change the due date, but depending on the baby's size, we may have to consider a C-section. Off we went to the sonogram office and happy to report that Rocco is measuring accordingly. He's at 3lbs and 13oz- growing big and strong! The amazing technician, Monica, spent a generous amount of time letting us 'oooh and aaaah' at Rocco and we were FINALLY able to get a good shot of his delicious little face (see below)! He was already in position so all those kicks and jabs I'm feeling are thanks to his legs and little arms! He even smiled in a few of the shots. He's got a little bit of hair, based on the fuzz around his head. His heartbeat was at 131, which is great and all his measurements, his organs, his spine, were all looking good! I'm a very happy mommy and so is my vagina- for now! Rocco looks so much like Maya and my baby cousin, Alexander, even Coco couldn't deny the instant resemblance. Poor Coco. His genes are no match for mine! As long as he's got the Buccio lips, I'm complete! 

Hello baby! Rocco Sebastian Buccio at 30 weeks and 2 days. Is that a smile I see?!

We got some Maya resemblance! (Sorry Coco. Better luck next time).

I was so excited to show Maya the sonogram photos of Rocco. We try to include her in as much as possible when it comes to her baby brother. I told her how her brother smiled when I told him about her and how he asked for her and said he couldn't wait to meet her! She was so giddy and kept asking me, "He was smiling?" And then asked me when he was coming out because she missed him already. I'm loving her enthusiasm and how proud she is about becoming a big sister. With only 10 weeks left, Coco and I have been really on top of making her feel part of the 'getting ready for baby' process. Besides talking to her about Rocco, we are really juicing up her big sister role by telling her how much we'll need her help when it comes to changing Rocco, giving him a bottle, getting his blankets for mommy and daddy, and helping mommy and daddy push the stroller when we're out. She's been practicing with her dolls, as is evident by the Desitin smeared all over their clothes and face (hey, she's getting there). She rocks her babies to sleep and puts them in her bed with blankets and she takes them to the supermarket to buy food and milk. And anytime anyone asks her about her baby brother, she grabs my belly and says, "It's my baby Rocco." She kisses my belly in the morning and says I love you and even pretends to read him books before we go to bed. 

Because she has such a helpful and kind demeanor, we think she'll continue to see this new addition as an adventure. The only change we've made is buying a closet for her toys and  Rocco's things that she helped organize with us, and once we get back from our trip, we'll be bringing the co-sleeper and momaroo into the house. We've really tried to keep the changes as low key as possible. I've already ordered a gift from baby Rocco to Maya (a Peppa Pig playhouse) so when she comes to meet him for the first time at the hospital, it'll be a nice ice breaker and she's not like, "Who the heck are you?!" 

One thing that I'm definitely looking forward to is spending one on one time with Rocco. Maya will be in school during the day, so that will allow Coco and I to spend our mornings and afternoons getting to know this new baby and getting to do things with him without having to divide much of the attention- at least not until 3:30pm when Maya gets out of school. It's also going to be important for us to carve some special moments with Maya so she doesn't feel like she's getting shafted and she gets quality time with both Coco and I, but it's also important for her to spend time with Rocco so she can get to know him too! 

I went to the experts (and by experts I mean all you awesome moms and dads) to get the 411 on how they welcomed a new baby into the family and the different ways they made time for each of their kids. As your family grows and you learn to figure out some sort of balance when it comes to dividing or sharing that attention, there may also be a shift in parenting style from one kid to the next! Reading all this helpful feedback gave me some wonderful ideas and also gave me some insight as to what to expect! I wanted to share that with you! At the end of the day, we're just trying to figure it all out and hope we get it right and it looks like some of these folks have the right idea. 

Read below. 

Maya putting her Rocco doll to sleep- because we all need glittery heels when putting our babies down! 

Christine- You don't need to always feel guilty if one doesn't have exactly what the first had. This is just setting yourself up for failure. It's almost impossible and there's enough stuff to feel guilty about when you are a parent! We try to treat both kids as individuals and not give into the "it's not fair" antic. It all evens out and we do what we can for each. As a mom of one, You can't imagine ever loving someone as much as you love your first child. However, it is amazing how naturally that love comes- absolutely amazing.

Jeannine- I’ve spent the last 5.5 months trying to make Jaydan (kid #1) feel special. We really didn't want him to be jealous or feel left out so we make extra sure to include him in all baby things (feeds, burping, bath, diaper, etc) and got him big boy toys and stickers as rewards. We also take him out to run errands so he feels important and not left behind at home. It has worked because he hasn't displayed any jealous feelings or negativity towards his baby brother - on the contrary, he is obsessed with him and loves being close to him. Now that Dylan (kid #2) is getting a little older and will start realizing things soon, we plan to start incorporating some special one on one things with him like trips to the park alone, bike rides with dad, play time with mom. We will also let #1 sleep over grandmas solo (which he LOVES) so we can have some alone time with baby to snuggle in bed and give him attention without big brother constantly stealing the spotlight! Juggling two is a lot of work but amazingly beautiful to see the instant love and bond these brothers have. They totally light up as soon as they see each other! As for parenting style, I’m much more relaxed and confident. I trust myself a lot more this time around. After all, I am doing pretty damn good with the first one!

Annette- I don't think my "parenting style" has changed much since having Dominic. At this stage (8months), Dominic doesn't really need special time for just him, actually he probably prefers to be with Dean! I have been lucky in the aspect of having them so far apart in age. Dean is past the sibling rivalry age and actually enjoys the milestones Dominic reaches as much as we do. Dean's also a very old soul and prides himself in all the help he provides us on a daily basis with Dominic - from watching him for a few moments while I run to the bathroom to helping me bathe, change or feed him. My battles with Dean are more geared toward what I think are normal parenting issues, having a child who is testing the limits and how far he can push his parents to get what he wants. We have always been tough on him as far as his manners and how he treats people but I have to say, even that has been easy with him. What I find most challenging is making the special time for Dean especially now during the summer. During school, I take my hour lunch and instead of going to eat, I go and pick up Dean from school and bring him home to the nanny or take him to baseball practice and that time we spend driving or doing whatever we do in between is our special time. We sing, we talk about everything and anything and we learn and love. The other thing that makes giving Dean the time to feel special without the sibling tough, is that he just doesn't want to do anything without his little brother. He's obsessed. I even told him we would take him to Disney and leave Dom with my mom and he said he didn't want to go to Disney without his brother. Of course that makes my heart want to explode! Let's hope it lasts into preschool years and beyond! Dean and Dom are amazing kids and we have been so fortunate because they just make it so easy to be good parents. There are times I see Dean has brief moments of "hey what about me?" But they are quickly addressed and are usually do to lack of sleep or hunger.

Dan- Make it a fun thing to have a newborn around. Have them help you to make them feel more involved. Give them an important role with baby and tell them how exciting it was for you to have a sibling. I would let daddy focus more on older kid since mom is still tending to baby. This can bring daddy/daughter closer together. On the Upper East Side, women refer to this time as being stuck in the weeds. The way to get out is to not get stuck on a branch and always realize that there is a rainbow ahead- and that rainbow is public school:) (Visit Dan's blog at www.brooklynrockerdad.com)

Nomi- Make one and one time for the older child. They need that extra security with this major life change and don't freak out if they regress a bit.

Mary Jo- It's really important to involve the first child in the process. This should be easier because your daughter will be a "little mom" so the rivalry amongst children of the same gender won't be an issue. When she's around and the baby needs something- ask her to help, hand you things, etc. When the baby needs 100%, have Daddy take the older one. Whenever baby is asleep- go do grown up stuff with #1- just like you do now- and make time for that extra story or fun art project. The great thing about the age difference is that while the older one is at preschool you can have all the alone time with baby. When she gets home, make her the top priority. It sounds crazy but with scheduling it will all work out. Also, take full advantage of anyone willing to help you with baby so you can make time for #1. Also, don't introduce any (other) major changes in #1's life. Now is NOT the time to stop the bottle or start potty training or transitioning into the big girl bed. Keep things as status quo as possible.

Tania- It was/still is bit challenging for me because my girls are twins and I have to always make sure I give the same attention to both. It’s very important to have one on one time with each child so they get your undivided attention.

Aileen- My parenting style definitely changed after having Andrew. I am still very much routine oriented and my boys have a schedule because I myself thrive with one and it makes our days flow easily, with minimal to no tantrums because everyone is rested and they know what to expect.  But I have definitely taken a more laid back and comfortable approach because I am not as afraid with him when it comes to trying new foods, playing with certain toys, and/or as preoccupied with how he falls asleep. With AJ, I was very overwhelmed with making sure he knew how to sleep on his own and fall asleep by himself etc, but with Andrew I realized my babies are small only once and it's not going to damage any of us if he is rocked or cuddled. But they do sleep in their own bed, with AJ occasionally climbing into ours around 430 am (need to tackle that). As far as time with AJ, he is a very jealous type. He requires a lot of attention due to his very active personality and he likes to be in the limelight making it difficult when a little being needs all of my attention. We would make sure that once a week he had a date with mommy and a separate day with daddy whether it was to go to the park, to get ice cream, or even as simple as undivided attention in the playroom. I included him from day one in Andrew’s every day routine and he has always helped fetch bottles, or diapers etc, and it has created a strong bond. He's protective of his brother and beams with pride when he's able to tell others what his brother likes or doesn't like. When AJ acts out, I usually step back and look around and it's almost always the fact that whoever is over is ‘oohing and aahing’ over Andrew so I just randomly make sure to approach him and play with whatever he's doing and it smooths out the situation.

Cynthia- Before my second (Brayden) was born, we made sure Dylan (my first) was included in the entire process by making him a part of all things from transitioning him to a new "shared" room to being a part of the baby shower. He helped paint the new room and picked his new bed. I felt guilty taking his crib away so we actually made his new "big boy" bed a big deal. He never felt like he was being replaced. He was allowed to be a part of the shower where he took pictures and interacted with all the guests. When Brayden was born, he was every bit a part of the stay at the hospital. The family made sure to bring him to meet his new brother and brought him a special "big brother" outfit! When my third, Elsie (the first girl), was born, most of the family was very excited because she was the first girl. The boys were included in all things. Our oldest was constantly reminded of his responsibility of being a big brother. He's a very old soul so he never has issues with bringing in a new baby. He, like the first time, was included in the process. Our middle child was also a part of the shower and prepping the new room for baby. The two boys helped paint and put together the new room as well as be a part of shopping and planning for the arrival of baby. Throughout the entire process, I think it's important to constantly talk to them about the changes your body is going through as well as sharing with them the time that they spent inside of you. I shared with all of them the pictures of me while I was pregnant with them and talked to them about when they were born. One thing I did that stands out and that I know they've never forgotten is when I let them color my belly with markers. We made a big deal about it and told them that she would see the special pictures they were drawing. They loved it and felt very important. Other than that, my advice is to include them in the birthing process. Bring them to the hospital to meet their new sibling and buy them a special outfit. It's important, though, not to feel guilty. Sometimes, we moms, have a hard time with feeling like you can't distribute the love equally. Don't fret, though! There is enough love to go around for all of them (even your husband)!

Michelle- I'm definitely still figuring out life with two. I feel very fortunate that my older son isn't jealous of the baby at all. He constantly wants to help change his diaper, give him a bath and comfort him when he's crying. We've encouraged him to be a good helper and you can tell he genuinely loves him. It's the sweetest thing! Whenever the baby is sleeping, I make it a point to really engage with him, sit on the floor and play cars, read books, go outside, etc. It’s hard because I'm exhausted and there's a million things I need to get done, but I know it's important and I love spending that time with him. As we get through this newborn haze and life starts getting back to normal, I want to take him out for some mommy and me time but we are just not there yet. Figuring it out one day at a time!

Monique- I definitely separate my time with them. They are both at an age where they know their likes and dislikes. Being that Jordi is a sports guy, he usually plays with his dad a bit more; but when it's my day with him, I tell him lets do what you want and he always chooses soccer and basketball with me. A bit of a scary sight but I have no problem as long as we do it together and he feels good about incorporating me with "boy" hobbies. With Mila, it's the same but I bit easier and relaxing as we both enjoy shopping and movies. I always end the day with taking them each for ice cream to their favorite place. As a mom, I love spending time alone with each and I see how receptive and open they are to sharing their stories about school and friends. But I do try to make them realize that we are a family of four and we always try to do one family activity on the weekends.

Vivian- From the minute I found out I was pregnant with #2 and #3, everything we did involving baby we included siblings- from sonograms, to picking out stuff, to names. Either Mia or Melanie were ALWAYS involved. God is a huge foundation in our family. We always instilled in them that the fact that God chose us to have this baby, to care for them and for Him to have chosen them to be siblings was such a blessing! And the biggest of all big things was a special present for her/them when baby arrived at home. These kids constantly want something. We always held off on buying whatever their BIG want at the time was until baby was coming home. Upon arrival to the home, there was a BIG present for her/them from the baby, with a note of course! I still have it and it read, 'Hi Mia & Melo- I am so excited to be able to be out of mommy's belly and finally see you all. I am so lucky God chose you two to be my sisters. I can't wait to share life with you two by my side. While in mommy's belly, I heard everything you guys said and asked for. I asked God to have a special surprise for you two when I got home. I really hope you like it!!! I love you, Matthew.'

Bumping Love, 

Rocco's mom