Rocco Report: 37 Weeks

How many of you are familiar with that catchy (and by catchy I mean it will be annoyingly stuck in your head until the end of time) song from the Lego Movie, 'Everything is Awesome?' Because right now, my theme song sounds more like, 'Everything is Swollen,'- like everything.  Starting with my vagina, which looks like an inflated party balloon, my unintentional Kylie Jenner plumped lips (this one I don't mind so much), my cheeks, and oh, my feet, which could belong to a baby elephant. Thankfully, I'm still pulling off this pregnancy with style, but seriously, it's getting tougher to get around without feeling extreme exhaustion! I'm taking it easy as much as possible, keeping my feet up, and catching up on last minute writing assignments before Rocco gets here. 

Thursday I have another appointment with my OB to check my cervix and just see how I'm feeling overall. I'm up 20lbs from my 116 start and Rocco is probably over the 7lb mark, closer to 8, at this point! Oh boy.

I've got a severe craving for anything sweet. For the past two weeks, it's become an unquenchable addiction! Ironically, all I craved at the start of this pregnancy was salty foods; now, the more sugar the better. One day it'll be caramel frapuccinos, the next it's sundaes from McDonald's with hot fudge and caramel. My lowest point came when I had an insatiable craving for condensed milk. Oh Em Gee! I drove to Publix, bought a can, cracked it open with a knife (my can opener failed me. Maybe it was a sign?) and I guzzled half that can and then threw it away. For a quick second I contemplated taking it out of the trash but thankfully, I came to my senses. Ew. 

With just a couple of weeks away from delivery (two, actually, but who's counting?!), it's important for those mommas-to-be to get in a little alone time and some 'pregnancy pampering' before the big day. Whether it's a prenatal massage or a quick manicure, there's always something new moms can do to treat themselves (and still keeping budget in mind)! I was very fortunate to indulge in a few prenatal massages along the way. Next week I'll go get a mani and a pedi and a blowout in preparation for Rocco! But back to the massages- these were much needed and incredibly relaxing and soothing, especially when you're carrying the extra weight. And having someone work on your back, shoulders, scalp and feet is just heavenly. It's well worth the one hour of disconnect! 

If you're looking to book a massage but don't know what spa would work best, I'm here to give you my two cents on the best spots for you! Here are my top picks for prenatal massages! And the best part? It's Miami Spa Month so all of these locations have great deals going on right now. 

Agua Spa at the Mondrian Hotel South Beach-(https://www.morganshotelgroup.com/mondrian/mondrian-south-beach/spa-fitness/agua-spa-) From the moment you walk into the pristine all-white lobby, you automatically go into zen mode. Start off with one of their nail services, like a signature manicure (hands need love too) and then indulge in a prenatal masage! That's exactly what I did. I had the masseuse focus heavily on my back and it was one hour of pure pleasure. My muscles felt less tight and she was very accommodating in regards to the specific areas that needed attention. Once you're done, enjoy some time in their relax lounge or take a dip in the pool! The Agua Spa is one of the few spas that allows you to use the hotel's facilities (like the pool) at no extra charge! So enjoy a swim by the bay and extend that pampering a little longer! 

Ritz-Carlton Spa South Beach- (http://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/Properties/SouthBeach/Spa/Default.htm) If you book your prenatal massage at the amazing Ritz spa, make sure to ask for Dialys- she will put you under a spell (or at least a deep sleep) with her magical masseuse fingers. As a new mom herself, she knows exactly where to focus her time and energy and works on those testy muscles and areas with a mix of gentleness and the right amount of pressure. The lightly-dimmed lounge is the perfect spot to relax before and after with some detox tea and yogurt covered pretzels. Go ahead, close your eyes and wander off as Dialys makes all your pregnancy pain disappear! 

The Spa at Turnberry Isle-( http://www.turnberryislemiami.com/spa-and-fitness/)- There's a reason that Conde Nast named the Turnberry Spa one of the best in the country. It's a tranquil oasis away from the hustle and bustle of Miami. It's located in Aventura and gives off that feeling that you're actually 'away' on vacation. Fellow preggos- the spa offers maternity-friendly tables, equipped with a cut-out for belly comfort. I opted out of this but my masseuse, Catherine, quickly got me nice and comfortable with pillows and blankets. I really wanted her to focus on my scalp and shoulders and it was no surprise I was extremely tense. She helped alleviate that quickly. After a few minutes to relax in their spa, I stopped at their cafe and had an On Juice drink and organic muffin. Yum. I was able to meet Coco and Maya at the family pool and enjoy some family time on the lazy river. Perfect day. And with September Wellness Month around the corner, the spa is offering $50 mini services so don't miss out! 

Exhale Spa at the Ritz Carlton Bal Harbour- (http://www.turnberryislemiami.com/spa-and-fitness/)- Could you ask for anything more glorious than a spa with a waterfront view in a semi-secluded location? That's exactly what you get when you book a prenatal massage at Exhale's Bal Harbour location. The staff goes above and beyond to accommodate any specific need you may have. Their signature massages can be converted to prenatal massages and between the relaxing music and aromatic oils, I was a ball of mush on that massage table. The knots on my lower back and upper shoulders slowly dissolved and I felt weightless- almost forgetting I was pregnant. I had some time before I had to pick up Maya from camp, so I decided to take a dip in their refreshing pool and treat myself to a healthy lunch! 

The Spa at the Eden Roc Hotel- (http://www.edenrocmiami.com/spa) Sometimes all you want is a good scrub and on a recent visit to the Eden Roc Spa, I opted for an exfoliating foot scrub and massage instead of a full-body massage. It was absolutely divine to have 45 minutes of attention on my calves and feet and when you're pregnant, there's nothing more indulgent. My masseuse, Lisa (she's outstanding), applied a Grotta Gusta Mud mask to my treatment to help with dryness and circulation. The Spa at the Eden Roc Hotel is being called one of the best new spas by travel magazines and it's no wonder why. I walked out feeling like a million bucks and so did my feet! Expect more beauty and wellness treatments as both the hotel and spa continue to undergo an expansive face lift. It's worth a visit! 

Massages by Aimee- (305) 720-0149- If you find yourself on bed rest or just so overly exhausted from the pregnancy that you can't muster the energy to drive to a spa, then you need Aimee Gonzalez. Voted by Allure Magazine as one of the top 'South Florida Massage Therapists,' Aimee will bring the spa services to you. Focused on giving her clients a healing experience through massages, Aimee created her own integrated massage therapy style to focus on all areas of the body. She applies the same technique to prenatal massages. Some of her clients include top athletes from the Miami Dolphins, Boston Red Sox, San Diego Chargers, and more. Her easy going natures makes her a pleasure to work with and she strives to give you muscle comfort and relief during your pregnancy. I've used during each trimester and I have never been disappointed. At $70 an hour, you can't beat the excellent price and service. Did I mention she comes to you?! 


Bumpin' Love, 

Rocco's Mom 

Miami Style Map: In Hibiscus Heaven at the Historic Hotel New Yorker

We're going high-end for this week's maternity style post! Because sometimes, every momma-to-be needs a little luxury in her life! I have fallen head over heels in love with this Radiant Silk Pink Hibiscus Print dress from Kinwolfe Maternity (http://www.kinwolfe.com/collections/maternity-breastfeeding-dresses/products/the-radiant-dress-pink-hibiscus). I had never heard of Kinwolfe until about last month and their pieces are extraordinarily rich, modern, and easy to wear. They're not limited to just maternity wear- in fact, they are meant to take you through pregnancy and beyond, like this hibiscus dress! Aren't the colors just beautiful?! It's no wonder women love it and comment on how bright and cheerful it is! 

What I truly love about the dress is how versatile it is. You can easily take it from brunch with girlfriends if paired with a metallic sandal (kind of how I've chosen to pair it for this post), or you can wear it for a cocktail party with a killer pair of nude Louboutins! The dress' free flowing silhouette and draped fabric, makes it comfortably chic to wear as you transition from trimester to trimester. And if you're a breastfeeding mom, Kinwolfe has you at the forefront of their designs! Their dresses are made to accommodate uncomplicated breastfeeding wherever you may be! 

Pregnancy is a beautiful time in a woman's life and fashion should reflect that! Kinwolfe makes sure that the modern woman is not only chic, but ready to arrive in style with their go-to pieces that will make heads turn- Hot mommas coming through!  

I was back at it again with the photo fantastic team of Ra-Haus Fotographie (www.ra-haus.com) to capture the luxe beauty of this floral print stunner! And I knew exactly where I wanted to shoot the dress- MiMo's iconic New Yorker Hotel (http://www.hotelnewyorkermiami.com). This stylish boutique hotel is an architectural dream! The hotel's signage and design take you back to a 1950's beach paradise and that's right on point with what I wanted to capture with the dress. The stark white walls and aqua accents are vibrant and eye-popping and paired with the bright pinks of the tunic, it only accentuates the print more! 

I knew I wanted a standout statement necklace but something that wasn't the usual gold/silver pieces I normally wear. H&M's latest jewelry collection feels very 'Meet the Jetsons,' and when I spotted this clear/plastic necklace, I knew I had found THE one. I stayed away from anything with color because it would just make the look too busy. The clear doesn't take away from the pops of color but it's still a bold and unique addition to the outfit! 

I kept it simple with a coral envelope clutch from a local online boutique that pairs stylishly with the summer palette of the look! 

And let's talk shoes! I've been wanting a pair of metallic platform wedges for some time now and these Steve Madden rose gold ones just stole my heart! I love the white wedge and the thick straps. You still get a little bit of height without having to wear heels and the plus side is they're extra comfortable! I've been wearing these a lot throughout the pregnancy and I have big plans for them once I give birth! One thing's for sure, this dress will not be going into my pregnancy pile! 

Whether you're a Miami local or a tourist passing through, don't forget to check out the city's MiMo (Miami Modern) neighborhood and stop by the New Yorker Hotel to experience a different slice of Miami away from the tourist traps of Ocean Drive. It's a bustling area with great architecture, restaurants, and shops! Get a little taste by following @hotelnewyorker on Instagram! 

And squeezers DON'T MISS OUT! Get 20% off any Kinwolfe purchase when you use the code FSF25- good through end of day 8/31. Happy Shopping!

On Me: 

Silk Tunic- Kinwolfe Maternity
Platforms- Steve Madden 
Necklace- H&M
Glasses- Forever 21
Envelope Clutch- Love Shopping Mia 

In Style, 

Kat 

The Rocco Report: 36 Weeks!

Rise and Shine, squeezers! We made it to 36 weeks! Exactly three more weeks until we get to meet Rocco! Unreal how nine months has flown by in the blink of an eye! I have some OB updates for you, including a Rocco weigh-in (these weigh-ins are strangely starting to resemble a baby version of The Biggest Loser). 

Last Thursday, I went to the very 'colorful' Hialeah Hospital for a sonogram (any Miami resident familiar with the city of Hialeah knows just what I mean by that adjective- for those that don't, the city is a mash-up of interesting personalities, predominantly Cubans, old and young, who make people-watching an Olympic sport). The point of the sonogram was to get Rocco weighed and measured- they call the business of big babies Macrosomia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_for_gestational_age). Well, at almost 36 weeks, Rocco was weighing 6 pounds and 7 ounces, so basically a little over six and a half pounds. He's in the 71 percentile for weight! We got a big baby on our hands with three weeks to go! 

The next step was seeing Dr. Bonilla for my weekly check-up and going over the results from the sonogram! I love going to see Dr. Bonilla because she's got some amazing bedside manner and she takes the time to explain everything in detail to you. Coco came with me to yesterday's appointment so we both got a rundown. 

So in a nutshell, my induction date still stands for September 8th (if I'm not dilated) or September 9th (if I am dilated), unless I give birth on my own beforehand. When you are dealing with an elective induction or C-section, by law you can't go earlier than 39 weeks, unless I go into labor on my own. And whether the birth will be a C-section or vaginal birth like Maya, that will be determined as we get closer to induction date. So for now, it's a 'wait and see' game! 

And you know I wasn't going to leave that appointment without my 4D photos of Rocco Sebastian! Between my Hialeah Hospital appointment and my visit to Peek in a Pod in South Miami, I got some fairly decent shots of our little boy (http://apeekinthepod4d.com/packages.html)! Pretty evident that he's running out of room so he looks a little squashed. He's already in position and I'm definitely feeling him move around trying to find comfortable positions. Each time we put up the 4D feature, he's either laying on his placenta like a pillow or has his hands covering his face! 

It's the face of an angel or a baby supermodel- both work! But you can't deny those gorgeous Buccio lips! He's got big cheeks, and a tiny nose! I can't wait to kiss that face of his! I show Maya his pictures and she says, "Awww he's so cute! When is he coming out?!" 

My heart melts thinking of these two together. But I also occasionally freak out when the reality of 'holy sh$%t! It's two kids now' hits me. 

That's all for today's photo blog and update! Next week I'll be talking 'pregnancy pampering' and rounding up my favorite spots for pre-natal massages. Speaking of, I'm running out to get one right now! 

Bumpin' Love,

Rocco's mom. 

Miami Style Map: It's Fashion Flashback with Maya's Maternity Shoot!

It's so hard to believe that these photos were taken almost four years ago! How the time has flown. Back in 2011, Coco and I flew down to Miami for the holidays and to spend a few days in Grand Cayman for our baby moon. We were so excited and nervous to meet our baby girl! And the only thing we kept telling one another, like we were in on this one big secret, was, "There's going to be a baby here in a couple of weeks!" 

It was important to me to document my first pregnancy and my growing baby bump, so I reached out to Natalie, of Suna Photography (www.sunaphotography.com), and asked her to capture all that excitement, happiness, and anxiety in a series of simple and whimsical photos. 

We shot at Margaret Pace Park, located across the street from our condo. Funny, since now that park is a part of our everyday routine. That's where Maya plays, rides her scooters, takes the dogs for walks, and goes for outings with her dad. There were no props for this shoot, no gimmicks- just a momma-to-be wrapped up in all the emotions of anticipation that come with being a first time parent! 

I wanted the shoot to reflect me in my everyday life- besides the gorgeous makeup (done by Jessie of Makeup Artistry by Jessie (www.makeupartistrybyjessie.com) this is pretty much me in my everyday (only without the extra layers brought to you by a NYC winter)! I had two looks. The first look was a pale blush dress from Forever 21. Even back then, before I started my fashion blog, I was all about non-maternity clothes during pregnancy- always keeping in mind fit and fabric! 

My second look was from Pea in a Pod Maternity, which I've been wearing on the regular during Rocco's pregnancy! I never got rid of my pregnancy clothes. I kept them in a bag and shared them with pregnant friends and family! It's the gift that keeps on giving. This maxi dress is budget-friendly alternative to a Missoni and I love how it looks with these turquoise drop earrings. 

I love looking back at these pictures and showing Maya how she was in mommy's belly and how we couldn't wait to meet her! She gets a kick out of that. She loves these photos of Coco and I. 'Daddyhood' looks good on Coco. And even though he sometimes drives me bananas, there's no limit to how much I adore this man! BTW, we're so pale! That's what NY winters do to you, but honestly, I kind of like the 'really white, no tan' look.

Little did we know at that point in time, how much our lives would change the moment Maya entered our world. And now here we are getting into the ring for the second time- clueless as to what life will be like with two kids. And you know what?! We can't hardly wait. 

Pass the wine! 

In Style, 

Kat 

The Rocco Report: 35 Weeks!

Hello, hello, hello! How are you my dear squeezers?! Thanks for popping on over to the 

blog and checking out this week's post, which thankfully, is not about hemorrhoids, but all about what you should pack for your hospital visit! 

There is a quick update on those 'unwanted friends down there,' though. Happy to report that I'm feeling so much better! Not only has the inflammation gone down, but the numbing cream is working wonders to diminish whatever discomfort is left down there. I'm a very happy preggo! Other than that, I'm feeling wonderful yet exhausted. I've been trying to get stuff done during the day while Maya is at camp, and by the time 2pm rolls around, I'm practically falling asleep. I've also been staying indoors a lot. If I don't have to be outdoors, then you'll find be nesting in my quaint abode. I'll take Maya to the pool, we'll watch movies, read books, and take the dogs for a walk when the sun goes down because there is just no way I can be outside for more than 10 minutes without feeling like I'm about to pass out from the heat. Miami, can you try your hardest to produce some sort of fall weather come late September/early October?! That would just be ideal! 

On Thursday I'll be going for another sonogram at the hospital to check Rocco's weight. Our due date is currently pending and contingent on this child's weight and size, so hopefully we'll have a better indication by the end of this week! 

Monogrammed travel bags from Pottery Barn Kids. Ready for takeoff (or for Mt. Sinai Medical Center)! 

With just a few weeks away before I get to meet Rocco Sebastian Buccio, it’s about that time to start packing my hospital bag! The last thing you will be thinking about when those contractions hit, is packing a bag; therefore, it’s a great time saver to have it ready to go a few weeks before delivery.

I started packing my bag this week! And by bag, I mean Rocco’s new monogrammed carry-on luggage from Pottery Barn Kids (let’s hope he likes dinosaurs http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/mackenzie-blue-dino-luggage/?pkey=dshop-all-luggage&&dshop-all-luggage)! In order to keep all the contents divided and organized, I rely on my Mumi packing cubes ((http://mumidesign.com/wordpress/) to compartmentalize all of Rocco’s stuff and my stuff separately.

 I’m sharing with you my very own personal hospital checklist!

Never too young to start looking good. A peek at some of Rocco's hospital outfits. 

He'll be going home in this beautiful white number and his 'I love mom and dad' hat. He's already a superstar! 

-       Toiletry bag- Don’t forget to pack a toothbrush, tooth paste, shampoo and conditioner, soap, lotion, glasses, contacts/contact solution, hair ties, face wash, hair brush, deodorant and chapstick. You will use it all the moment you feel ready to refresh. Maxi pads (even though the ginormous hospital ones are actually really good) will now be a part of your day to day for the next month or so. Make sure they can hold a heavy flow. If you’re looking to get glam and wear makeup, keep it simple with concealer, mascara and gloss, and I wouldn’t recommend these while you’re in labor. You’ll look like Bozo the clown when you meet your baby. Apply afterwards.

-       IPod playlist- I call it ambiance music. I was all about music that relaxed me. It was a compilation of Coldplay, Adele, Amy Winehouse, Bon Iver, Iron and Wine, etc. Maya was born to Adele. Let’s see what Rocco’s entrance song will be! Make sure you bring a charger.

-       Baby book- Give the memory book to the nurses so they can get your baby’s footprints and handprints when he or she is born. Rocco's baby book is from Anthropologie. 

-       Cordblood banking- If you and your partner decide to do cordblood banking, bring the box with you to the hospital and give it to your nurse once you check-in.

-       Thank you gifts- Thank you gifts go a long way. They don’t have to be extravagant. I brought small Chanel perfume samples (thanks to my friend Bonita) to give my labor and delivery nurses as well as my maternity nurses. I didn’t know how many nurses I would have so I brought eight to be safe.

Nuroo Swaddle, an Aden and Anais blanket from home, and a baby book from Anthropologie are all packed away. 

-       FujiFilm instant camera- You’ll have your smart phone, but a FujiFilm camera is a unique alternative to capture some special snapshots.

-        Comfortable Underwear- Don’t under estimate the power of granny panties (didn’t you hear? They’re trendy). Pregnant or not, I swear by them but they are of utmost importance after you give birth. You want nothing constricting since your lady parts will be very tender.

-       Pajamas- Comfortable and easy being the key words when it comes to PJs. Keep them short sleeved. Labor will make you sweat. I ended up giving birth in a bralette because I was sweating. But once I was ready to put clothes on, I kept things comfortable with PJ dresses, pants, and tops. None of these Pinterest-crazed monogrammed hospital gowns. No one has time for that.

-       Bras- If you’re planning on nursing, pack a nursing bra and/or nursing friendly pajamas. Because I don’t breastfeed, I pack sports bras. They’re tight and they hold my cabbage leaves in place, which leads me to my next item…

          Cabbage- Yes, cabbage. Bring to the hospital. The nurses are usually good about keeping it cold for you in the fridge. Cabbage leaves help in drying up breast milk if you’re not planning on breastfeeding. Be consistent.

My Mumi Design cubes make packing and unpacking a breeze! Everything is in order in Rocco's hospital bag.

Slippers- I’m a big fan of hospital socks, believe it or not, but I also pack these really soft knitted Forever 21 animal slip-ons. They feel delicious on my feet!

-       Sibling gift- If you’re giving birth to your second, third, or beyond, it’s a good idea to bring a gift for the new big brother/big sister. Consider it an olive branch from the new baby. It sort of says, “Hey, sorry I’m going to be hogging up the spotlight for a bit, but here’s a really sweet Peppa Pig toy to make things sweeter for you.”

-       Car Seat- You can’t leave the hospital without it! Make sure it’s properly strapped into your car. It will be inspected by hospital staff.

-       Outfits for baby- Unless you’re okay with the oversized white onesies the hospital provides, then you’re covered. But most new moms love to bring a few outfit choices for their newborns. Also include hats and socks, and baby mittens (so baby doesn’t scratch). It gets cold for them! If you plan to swaddle, bring that too. My swaddle is from Nuroo Baby (http://nuroobaby.com/product/nuroo-swaddler/) and I'm packing an Aden and Anais muslin blanket from home (http://www.adenandanais.com/en-us/productlanding/4615/baby/swaddles/classic/swaddle+classic.aspx)! 

-       For dads- pack a small travel bag for dad too. A toiletry bag with all his essentials and a change of clothes!

All packed and ready to go! 

See you next week, squeezers! 

Bumpin' love,

Rocco's Mom. 

Miami Style Map: Everything is Coming Up Roses in Wynwood

I have found another amazing wall in Wynwood to add to my collection of favorites! And it just happened to work magically with my OOTD! I love the black and white sketches with the pastel-hued details of these walls. It's understated without being too bold in color. The flowers are feminine but with a little edge and the image of the pensive girl is striking yet amusing! My photographer, Raquel (www.raquelzaldivarphotography.com), who will soon be leaving me to finish her studies in Chi-town, was also digging the artwork for our shoot. 

This blush skirt from the Lauren Conrad collection at Kohl's is my latest obsession. It's not maternity, but I couldn't wait to wear it so I hiked it up over my belly and wore it with a short blouse I had in my closet that I hadn't worn since becoming pregnant. This pleated maxi skirt is giving it a second chance! I've become a big fan of Lauren Conrad's Kohls line because it's whimsical, ladylike, and also very California-chic with it's effortless feel and casual tendencies. This skirt has all of that! 

The black and white tropical print blouse is from Forever 21 and shot against the mural, it gave off a slight 'Alice in Wonderland/Queen of Hearts' vibe for me. That's what I kept thinking about when I was reviewing the photos. The black, white, and blush pairing is soft but still edgy, which is exactly what I was going for! 

Because it's like 1000 degrees in Miami, I opted for these modern style sandals that are ultra-comfy. Unfortunately, I've had to give my booties a rest, especially during this last month because the heat makes my feet swell and grossly expand inside my boot. I'm not kidding. It really happened.  

As I near my final weeks of this pregnancy, I'm actually a little sad that I won't be able to experiment more with my maternity style. It's been so much fun photographing all these wonderful looks and I hope I've inspired you to take some risks when it comes to dressing your bump! 

Why not enhance your most stylish accessory these next nine months with some out-of-the box pregnancy fashion?!  

On Me: 

Blush maxi- Lauren Conrad for Kohls
Top- Forever 21
Sandals- Traffic Shoes 

In Style, 

Kat 

The Rocco Report: 34 Weeks!

Oh Squeezers! Do I have an update for you! My weekly pregnancy post comes to you a couple of days late for several reasons. The first being a last minute staycation/mini babymoon with Coco at the 1 Hotel South Beach (https://1hotels.com/south-beach). Maya joined us for the sleepover portion of our two day stay and she did enjoy some late afternoon pool time and dinner after her camp, but thanks to Maya's grandparents (my dad and his wife), Coco and I were able to indulge in some nice quality time together and much needed rest and relaxation just us two! It sure was sweet. 

The other not so sweet reason- these damn hemorrhoids sent me to the ER. Yep, you read right. I knew they would be a struggle and that they would rear their ugly heads during the last trimester, but this last week has been unbearable. Not sure if you all have ever read Maya's pregnancy journal on my now inactive personal blog (http://www.twocentssuarez.blogspot.com/2012/03/star-is-born-baby-buccio-update-week-40.html), but I share in great detail my birthing story, which included this interesting fact- while I was giving birth, my doctor at the time, Dr. Jennifer Wu, was concerned that if tore naturally, I would tear right through my hemorrhoids and I would be looking at a very painful recovery, therefore, she felt it be better to slice me sideways instead of straight on so I would avoid an explosion of pain. Obviously I said, 'cut away sister!' The worst part of my recovery after Maya's birth wasn't even my beat up vagina or the stitches from the cut. That was a walk in the park. The most uncomfortable and excruciating were the hemorrhoids. And what I have experienced in the last week with these 'grapes of wrath,' has felt exactly like the afterbirth and it's got me sh*&ting bricks- literally.

I can't sit because it feels like-what I imagine is- someone inserting a small knife repeatedly in my junk. I get these pangs of sharp pain that leave me breathless- and not the good kind of breathless. I have prescription creams, cooling gels, cooling pads,  and nothing really helps. Those sitz baths are a waste of my time and bath water because they're useless. The only thing that manages to give me some sort of relief are ice packs, so I sleep with an ice pack, I drive with an ice pack, and even do my writing assignments sitting on a Boppy with an icepack. 

So when I went to my weekly appointment with my OB, Dr. Bonilla, I unloaded. I was hoping she had some miracle cure that would take me out of this misery. Well, I got good news and bad news. The good news was that there's a reason why this was causing me excruciating pain- I had what was called a 'thrombosed external hemorrhoid,' which basically means that that particular hemorrhoid has a blood clot inside of it, causing it excessively swell and turn a purplish color. Usually in these cases, all you have to do is slice it to release the clot for instant relief, but I had to go see a colorectal surgeon, who unfortunately couldn't take me until the next day in the late afternoon. I was dying! I didn't know if I could wait that long and so I was sent to the ER- a complete waste of time. The only thing they could give me was a big fat hospital bill because they had no one on staff to do the procedure and because the hemorrhoid was not fully thrombosed yet, they did not want to slice it for fear I would excessively bleed. They suggested I keep my colorectal appointment. Great. 

Tuesday at the colorectal appointment with Dr. Hellinger. Don't I look sexy?! 

I was able to snag a morning appointment with Dr. Hellinger at Mercy Hospital. The staff was more than accommodating after listening to my plight. He was extremely professional, thorough, and informative. Unfortunately, I have to suffer through the next five weeks with this one painful sucker, and revisit after I've healed completely from the birth. Because it's external and not fully thrombosed, we cannot cut into it because of the bleeding, and we can't band it because banding external hems are just as horridly painful as having them surgically removed (banding is recommended for internal hems). He did prescribe a stronger medication that has 5% lidocaine ( basically a stronger numbing cream). He suggested I keep doing the ice packs since they were helping. He agreed sitz baths wouldn't offer much relief and he hopes that the inflammation will go down on it's own from now until labor. And though they are expected to flare during labor with all the pushing, he hopes that when they do heal, they'll just stay out of trouble and play dead, so we don't have to remove them with surgery (this happened after I recovered with Maya. They stayed dormant until I was in my first trimester with Rocco). So fingers crossed that my ass catches a break! 

Did I mention that despite all this butt trouble I still feel great?!

All this talk of hemorrhoids makes for a smooth transition to this week's hot topic- Sex during pregnancy. There are two kind of pregnant women- those that love having sex while pregnant, and those that just don't. Unfortunately for my husband, I fall under the 'don't even think about it' column, at least during this pregnancy. My temporary condolences to our sex life. 

I know both these women well and I wish I could be one of those women that just craves some sexy time, but I'm not. Quite the opposite. This pregnancy has made me sex repellent. And yes, I do feel beautiful and empowered and super sexy when I'm pregnant, but sadly that doesn't seem to make me all hot and bothered for some action. A lot of it has to do with my situation down there. I mean, what's going on in my nether regions is just plain gross, unattractive, and  uncomfortable. And since I'm in the business of being honest, the thought of having sex while there's a baby so up close and personal to my lady parts, feels like I have someone very tiny watching me. And even though I know (rationally I know this) that having sex won't hurt the baby or that the baby can't feel it (as the doctor says), I can't seem to shake the image of my baby possibly getting poked in the head by a penis. It's just weird. Then there's actually finding a position that can be comfortable when you have a huge basketball for a belly. Yes, you have to get creative, but I'm so tired and weirded out to begin with, that the last thing I want to do with whatever energy I have left is try to find some Kama sutra pose that doesn't feel like I'm some sort of breeding animal. 

Here's my husband thinking there was going to be a whole lot of 'Boys to Men' and '2 Live Crew' sex going on while we made this baby; but, then all his wildest dreams were deflated once I got pregnant right away!  At least we still have pregnancy sex, he thought. Poor poor man. He was disillusioned because my vagina was basically 'closed for business.' 'out of order,' 'out to lunch for the next nine months,' and simply put, 'shut down due to mechanical failures.' You get the gist.  Sex was (and is) just not on my mind. 

During pregnancy, you got bombarded with so many articles and data about how it's common for women to lose their libido along the way but then it comes back (hooray) in the second trimester, or in some cases, it doesn't come back full force. I found some of these articles reassuring, as well as reading about women who felt the same way as me. My libido left and never came back. It hitched a ride to no-sexy-town. What's interesting though, is that many men share these same sentiments. They feel weird having sex during pregnancy for some of the same reasons we do. 

If you are one of those lucky men and women that just love a good round of sex during pregnancy, I'm happy and envious of you! For those of us that don't, there's still hope! There are many other ways to connect intimately with your significant other and who knows, maybe you'll have some fun and find your groove along the way! 

I'm all about finding a happy medium to get that happy ending! 

Bumpin' love,

Rocco's mom.